Popcorn for One, Please.

As I've mentioned before, Sable and I are good friends. This has created a few problems, the first of which is that Sable's mom (who is a story and a half all in herself) thinks that we're dating. Now I'm not saying she is not justified in thinking that I am dating her son, except that on multiple occasions both of us have told her that we are not dating. Does she listen? No.
Sable's mom calls as we are sitting on the couch watching a movie.

His mother: Hey, what are you doing?
Sable: Watching a movie with Alanna while I eat popcorn.
His mother: Sable, that's not very nice. Why aren't you sharing the popcorn with Alanna?
Sable: Because she doesn't like popcorn.
His mother: ...sh-she doesn't like popcorn. Sable, that's INHUMANE (Yes, I know that word doesn't fit in this context, but that's what she said). Sable, EVERYONE likes popcorn. Why doesn't she like popcorn? Sable, Sable, you aren't seriously considering marrying this girl, are you?
(Keep in mind I am sitting on the couch next to Sable and can hear everything she is saying. I am continually trying to stifle outbursts of laughter and eventually have to leave the room before she realizes I can hear her)
Sable: Mom, mom, it's not that she doesn't like popcorn, it's just that it's not her favorite.
His mother: No, no, you already said she doesn't like popcorn. You can't take that back.

Now here's what I find interesting about all of this. Of all the reasons to not want your son to marry a girl, I never figured that what would keep me single is the fact that I don't like popcorn. I mean really. She doesn't have a problem with our religious differences (I love Jesus, Sable does not). She doesn't have a problem with the fact that I will be poor for pretty much all of my life (I plan to be a middle school math teacher). She doesn't have a problem with anything about me except the fact that I don't like popcorn. Whatever. If that's all that's wrong with me then I guess I'm doing pretty good for myself, right?

Well, when I tell people this story, the FIRST thing they always say is, "YOU DON'T LIKE POPCORN???" Seriously. Every. Effing. Time.

For the record, here is my opinion of popcorn:

However, upon further reflection, I have realized that I just might be the ONLY person to have more of a dislike than like for popcorn in the entire world, and so I might just have to learn to like it if I ever want to be in a relationship... I don't know if it's worth it yet.